Asleep in Babylon (redux)

Posted on by Kyle Fuller

Americans (Christians and non Christians alike) have been asking themselves why the United States would surrender so much of itself, giving up power and control. Now, with the potential surrender of the internet, many again scratch their heads, and ask, “Why?” Now, you may be right, I may be crazy, but I wonder…
“The ten horns of the beast are ten kings who have not yet risen to power. They will be appointed to their kingdoms for one brief moment to reign with the beast. They will all agree to give him their power and authority.” (Rev. 17:12,13 NLT)

I wrote the following a while back, but it is still intensely on my heart:

“Asleep in Babylon”Asleep in Babylon, they dream. As the words of the Apostles and Prophets come alive around them, they dream on.They are oblivious to the beginnings of the stirring of the beast, and the cry of, “Come out of her my people, and do not partake of her sins.” is but an echo of His voice meant for some generation long ago.

The days of the Spirit have ceased, and God no longer speaks. All that remains is to sleep, and wait for the gospel to permeate Asleep in Babylonthe world. It’s easy to ignore the writing on the wall when you’re convinced you know everything.

“Take the book and open the seals.”

Asleep in Babylon, they dream. Conferences and impartations, trivial pursuit is such a deadly game. They dream on.

Who is gonna reform the Reformers? Tired arguments, stale rhetoric, and doctrinal clichés doom the next generation to invent heresies. They know something is missing, but to admit what It is would blow their theology. Lullabies are plentiful in Babylon.

Institutionalized, mesmerized, idealized- It’s over guys! Yet, it’s business as usual, sleepwalking on the deck of the Titanic. There has to be some way to save all that we have built.

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock.”

Asleep in Babylon, they dream. If you ignore the riders on their horses maybe they’ll just go away. They dream on.

Wholesale slaughter, a loaf of bread for a days wage, deception, war, and pestilence abound. You better not touch my Chick fil a. The world is on fire. I wonder if they have an app for that.

IPhones, ringtones, a trumpet blast, and we’ll all be gone, ‘cause you know God wouldn’t let his people suffer. Hey, our worship team just got a smoke machine. That’ll go great with the angel feathers and the glory cloud!

“I find your deeds incomplete in the sight of my God.”

Asleep in Babylon, they dream. I heard Jesus came back Saturday night. Never mind that; services start tomorrow at eleven.

The Wrath of God? (A Message by Dr. Jim Gifford)

Posted on by Kyle Fuller

Those of you who are regular readers of NLI know that I’ve referred to my former professor Dr. Jim (James) Gifford quite often, especially his book, Perichoretic Salvation. He recently gave this message at my Alma Mater, and I wanted to share it with you. I do believe it’s a timely word, and sincerely hope you take the time to watch and listen.

Forget Me Not

Posted on by Kyle Fuller

“How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
    How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
    and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
    How long will my enemy triumph over me?

“ Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
    Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, and my enemy will say, ‘I have overcome him,’
    and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

“ But I trust in your unfailing love;
    my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord’s praise,
    for he has been good to me.” (Psalms 13 NIV)

            I don’t know about you, but I can totally relate with what David is saying in these verses. In my walk with Jesus, I have experienced times (extended periods of time) when I felt as if God had forgotten all about me, and wouldn’t even look my way. That sweet communion that I enjoyed with the Lord was only a memory that brought no comfort, but actually served to torture my soul as I struggled to understand what was going on. The “enemy” seemed to have the upper hand, defeating me at every turn.

            For the lover of God, there can be no greater torment than the perceived absence of His presence. The “sparkle” in your eyes grows dim, and even death itself seems a distinct possibility. You can hear the enemy whisper, “I knew this would happen, and now your God has abandoned you. I’ve got you now!” Perhaps there are even those who rejoice that you are in such a state. At times like this, there is great heaviness and darkness, panic can easily set in. But it doesn’t end there!

            Along with the psalmist, we may trust in the unfailing, loyal love of God. But although we idealize men like David; dare I say that we are in a better position than he ever was? For you see, Jesus has come! The Father has caused us to be placed in him and He in us. The kingdom of God is within you. He became everything that we are so that we may share in all that He is. The eternal love that God has always known within himself, the holy love of the Father, Son and Spirit is ours in Christ. We are connected to Him like branches to a vine. The very life of God is in us, flowing through us if you will, in the Spirit. The One David knew in part, and prophesied about in part has come. It is finished! And we are in Jesus. Talk about rejoicing. Talk about singing. Oh yeah, God has been “berry,” “berry” good to us!

            We all go through hard times, times when it seems like God has left the building. But be reminded, you are the “building” God resides in. The Father has placed you in Jesus, and shared with you the eternal holy love of God. He would no more leave you than He would the Son. Think on that, and rejoice in the Lord.

The Wall

Posted on by Kyle Fuller

         (Without a doubt, this is the longest article I’ve ever posted on NLI. I do apologize, but I felt I needed to get it out in one sitting. I’m praying that the Holy Spirit will help those who need to read it to do so.)

   “Then he said to me, ‘Son of man, dig in the wall.’ So I dug in the wall…”

              In December of 2012 I arrived at “The Wall.” I had never been to this wall before, and really didn’t know what it was when I first encountered it. All I knew was that it scared me and shook me to the very core of my being. It only got worse as I learned that I had to dig in, and go through the wall. Honestly, there have been times I wondered if I would make it. What am I talking about you ask? Well, I guess the best place to start is at the beginning.

            In May of 2007, God moved dramatically in my life, and from that point until November of 20012, my life was a beautiful whirlwind. The Lord led me to a wonderful church where I would end up serving over five years as Worship Pastor. The Spirit of God moved among us in ways I had never experienced. I went back to school and would finally (after almost a 30 year gap) earn my Bachelors Degree in Biblical Studies. Besides serving as Worship Pastor at my church, there were worship conferences, preaching engagements, and the birth of NLI. People were coming to Jesus, and I was personally experiencing an intimacy with the Lord I had only dreamed of. I was hearing things like, “Brother, you are so anointed.” and “When are you gonna release a CD, and write a book?” I was both humbled and blown away by all that God was doing. I had no idea that I was about to slam face first into “The Wall.”

            Things went down at the church where I was serving that hurt me deeply. I experienced feelings of betrayal and rejection, the likes of which I had never known. I left in a daze not knowing what I would do. An opportunity soon presented itself at another church, so, I became their Worship Pastor. The people were awesome! They accepted me and treated me with nothing but love. But something just wasn’t right- with me. Looking back, I now know that I should’ve never taken the position. They were looking for a Worship Pastor, and wound up getting a man who was living in the shadow of “The Wall.” So, nine months later I resigned. And it was time to start digging.

            Here’s where I tell you exactly what wall I’m talking about. I began to reach out to people I respected and trusted, sharing with them what I was experiencing, and one day a dear brother (Thank you Jeff!) sent me an article by Richard J. Vincent. The part that hit me was the following:

            “Stage 4 is “the journey inward” – “a deep and very personal inward journey” that “almost always comes as an unsettling experience yet results in healing for those who continue through it.” In this stage, our former views of God are radically challenged. The disruption can be so great that we feel like we are losing our faith or betraying loyalties.

At this stage, we face an abrupt change (at least many do) to almost the opposite mode. It’s a mode of questioning, exploring, falling apart, doubting, dancing around the real issues, sinking in uncertainty, and indulging in self-centeredness. We often look hopeless to those around us.

This newfound (and often surprising) uncertainty is usually precipitated by a crisis. “The move from stage 3 to 4 is more likely precipitated by a crisis in our life or our faith. That crisis makes many of the former truths and answers inadequate or inappropriate for the next phase in the journey.” The crisis “shakes our strongly held beliefs or assumptions and we feel adrift on a restless sea, fending for ourselves. Our sense of God is shaken and we can find no new direction, only more questions.”

The crisis shocks our system. We lose comfort and question our convictions as our previous faith-supports crumble before our very eyes.

For the first time, our faith does not seem to work. We feel remote, immobilized, unsuccessful, hurt, ashamed, or reprehensible. Neither our faith nor God provides what we need to sooth us, heal us, answer our prayers, fulfill our wishes, change our circumstances, or solve our problems. Our formula of faith, whatever that may have been, does not work any more, or so it appears.

Why does advancing to this stage usually demand a crisis? The reason is simple: No one would choose this kind of experience on their own!

Most of us are so comfortable and self-sufficient at the previous stage (called the productive or fruitful life) that we have no natural tendency to move at all. In fact, stage 4 does not even look like part of the journey for those of us at home in stage 3. It does not appear to be an extension of our faith and growth. Consequently, we are not drawn in this direction.

Our aversion to stage 4 is increased because of the very real dangers that accompany this stage. “Sometimes people drop off the journey totally at this point. Overwhelmed by pain or crises in our lives, we absolutely cut ourselves off from God.”.

The end of stage 4 involves an experience of “the Wall” – “a face-to-face experience with God and with our own will.” It is impossible to go over, around, or under the Wall. One can only go through it. “The Wall experience is the place where… psychology and spirituality converge. Up to this point, one can be religious, spiritual, or fruitful and not be healed psychologically, or vice versa.”

At the Wall, we become “aware of all the lies we have accepted about ourselves.” We are forced to “face the truth” in order to move forward. “The Wall invites us to integrate our spiritual selves with the rest of us. And that involves facing our own and others’ demons. We must face that which we fear the most, and that is why it is so unsavory, and why so many people only enter the Wall under duress.”

Only through self-acceptance and surrender to God’s will can one go “through” the Wall to deeper levels of spiritual growth. “The power behind the transformation at the Wall is this: learn to embrace your whole story with loving, forgiving detachment.” We must accept ourselves with all our wounds and imperfections. We must experience God’s love and acceptance of us as we are in all our weakness and humanness. And then we must fully and completely surrender to God’s will, even though we remain in the dark.

            (To read the entire piece, go to http://www.theocentric.com/spirituality/christian_living/stages_of_faith_a_map_for_the.html)

            Now I’m not one for static paradigms or manuals on “Five Levels of This” or “Seven Easy Ways to That,” but when I read this article by Richard J. Vincent, I completely identified with “stage 4” and “The Wall.” Moving on…

            In the passage I quoted at the beginning this article, God had told Ezekiel to dig through the wall and he would see the sins and abominations of Israel. But digging in my own wall would reveal some unsettling things about me.

             I no longer felt God’s presence. My prayer life and time in the Word was almost nonexistent. I felt like I was literally falling apart, and I began to self-medicate. Old patterns of behavior were beginning to resurface and I was afraid! I began to isolate, and of course I lied (except to a few, and at times, even to them) when anyone would ask how I was doing. I could tell my family was worried and afraid for me. “Dear God! I’m supposed to be a minister of the gospel and I’m beginning to wonder if I’m even saved.” There was deep darkness and an impending sense of doom.

As I continued to dig, here are some things I began to see:

1) I was hurt by what went down at my former church. The hurt was legitimate. But much of the hurt was my own doing. Didn’t they see that I was right? Had they forgotten how anointed I am? How could they treat me this way after all I had done for them? I was forced to ask myself how much of my ministry has been truly motivated by love.

2) At times, I have cared more about receiving recognition than people. For example: I was talking to a brother on the phone, and he was telling me of his struggles, and I was offering what I prayed was good advice. The next day he called back explaining how the Lord had ministered to him, revealing some things to him that helped him see a little more clearly. Honestly, instead of being grateful that God had helped him, I was more upset by the fact that he didn’t mention that it was I who had told him the very same thing the night before. Or, what about the times I have led worship and the presence of God really “showed up,” and I felt like somebody should’ve recognized me as “the vessel.” How twisted is that?

3) My theological studies have caused me to be arrogant and pharisaical at times. I have often debated with others to prove myself right rather than help them see what I believe is the truth.

4) How many times have I watched videos of myself leading worship or preaching not so that I might improve, but because I just wanted to see how I looked?

5) More times than not, my, “It aint all about me.” was ALL ABOUT ME!

6) There have been times when I have posted on NLI not out of a sincere desire to minister, but rather for the traffic.

7) How many times have I “performed” instead of ministering?

            I could probably go on, but I’m sure you’ll agree that that this article has gone on long enough. Honestly, I don’t really know if writing this was more for me or you. If you’ve arrived at “The Wall” I just pray you are encouraged by it.  No one can go with you through the wall except for Jesus, and you’ll probably think he’s deserted you. There will be others who pray and lift you up, but you won’t realize nor appreciate it at first. As for me, I don’t think I’m through digging yet, but I do believe I’m starting to see a little light. Hallelujah! God is faithful and he really does love us!

Time Well Spent?

Posted on by Kyle Fuller

Calvinism or Arminianism? Strange Fire vs Authentic Fire. Cessationism. Acceptable Worship Styles. Pre, Post, or Mid Trib? Young Earth vs Old Earth. Immersion vs Sprinkling. Christian Protests. Stand up for Chick-fil-A! I want my guns! Church Growth Programs.Traditional Church vs Home Groups. Prosperity. Dominionism. Kingdom now. Seven mountains. Apostle so & so. Prophet so & so. And the list goes on and on and on and on! Congratulations to us all!

And what have we accomplished with all of our dalliances?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUM6JKkcYH4

Same Love

Posted on by Kyle Fuller

 ( When I originally published this I used the wrong title, “One Love.” Perhaps now you’ll “get it.”)

   Hi. My name is Kyle and I’m an addict. I don’t know how it happened, God knows I didn’t choose to be this way, but nevertheless I am. I’ve known it since I was a teenager. I’ve been told that I was born this way, that I was genetically predisposed towards addiction, or perhaps the shame of being sexually abused as a child triggered something in me. What ever the reason – I’m still an addict. Furthermore, despite knowing in my heart that abusing drugs is wrong, I like it. I like getting high. I use to be real militant about it. I explained to people that it was my body to do with what I want. I defended myself by asking others what right they had to judge me, or  impose their sense of morality on me. On my journey to Jesus, I even tried to figure out a way that I could still get high and serve the Lord. And even after falling in love with Jesus, I have still battled addiction. I’ve been to seminary, been a Worship Pastor, preached countless sermons, and still there have been times that I have struggled.

            As I grow in my relationship with Jesus, the question of right and wrong has become less an ifreedom-ola-32799281-500-322ssue as I have realized that the sin of it all lies in the fact that my addiction is toxic to my relationship with him. As I have gotten to know Him, I have come to understand that just because getting high is something I like to do, and may want desperately to justify; it is clearly something He does not want for me. Even now that laws are changing, and certain drugs are being legalized and accepted in the mainstream, I know it is not His will for me. I also know to play the “I was born this way” card is a cop out and in reality an attempt to circumvent what I know in my heart to be true. So what’s a guy to do?

            The fact is that in every relationship there are parameters and expectations. There are also repercussions and consequences. I know there are some things I simply don’t need to do, things that could lead (have led) me into dangerous waters. I don’t refrain from these things out of a sense of duty or fear, but rather love. Getting to know Jesus, experiencing His love, His life and His freedom cause me to want to obey Him.  The fact of the matter is being with Him means more to me than getting high. It’s relationship, not being good that has become my motivation. In the times when temptation has come, His love has kept me. And in the times that I have failed, His love has embraced me. I like what Jesus Himself said, “He who the Son sets free is free indeed.” The implications of those words are staggering- all encompassing FREEDOM!!

            It is my earnest prayer that my “transparency” will help and encourage you no matter what you may struggle with. We don’t have to “redefine,” run and hide, or seek to justify our lives.  We only hurt ourselves when we do that. Instead we can come to Jesus and experience the freedom to truly live and love.

Preaching to Martians

Posted on by Kyle Fuller

          In Acts 17, we find what is commonly referred to as Paul’s sermon on Mars Hill. The more I read it, the more I am convinced that there is much we stand to learn about engaging our culture in these verses. (On a side note, my daughter recently told me that my posts tend to be rather lengthy, so, I’ll try to keep my observations short and sweet, and present my thoughts on this subject in a series of shorter articles.)

            Unfortunately, many Christians today take the Bible’s teaching of separating themselves from the world as an admonition to have nothing to do with those around them who are not followers of Jesus. We hide in our churches, put our kids in “Christian” schools, take our cars to “Christian” mechanics, use only “Christian” plumbers, and try desperately to patronize only Christian businesses. The surrounding culture to us is made up primarily of “Martians” we don’t understand and refuse to relate to. I think we’ve missed the mark here.

            In Acts 17, as Paul waited in Athens for the arrival for Silas and Timothy, we find him out and about amongst the “Martians.” Here was a man whose life was had been “separated” for Jesus and the preaching of the gospel, but he wasn’t hiding out. No, Paul interacted with the people, in the synagogues, and in the market place. He looked around, and the Bible tells us that as he saw the utter idolatry of the surrounding culture, he was provoked in his spirit. But this agitation of heart did not cause him to run and hide. He didn’t make banners that read, “God hates all Athenians.” He didn’t call for massive protests against the idolatry of the culture. No, being moved in spirit, he was moved to engage. The Bible tells us he “reasoned everyday with those who happened to be there.”

            We’ll look further into these verses, but for now, I just want to encourage you to make yourselves available to those around you. Remember my fellow aliens, while we may no longer be what we consider to be “Martians,” we are called to preach on Mars!

Unsavory Characters

Posted on by Kyle Fuller

            If you don’t skip over the genealogy of Jesus that Matthew provides in his gospel you’ll find that there are some, how shall we put it…, unsavory characters listed. If you take the time to research some of the names and see the roles they played in the Story, you learn that they were definitely not perfect human beings. Frankly, there are some things that were done by people on the list that any self respecting family would be ashamed of. As I read these passages this morning I was greatly encouraged. I don’t know about you, but there have been many unsavory characters in my life. And if I’m honest, the most unsavory of all is me. We all look back over our lives and have to admit we’ve been involved in some shady dealings. We wonder at times if God is really working in us and if so, why? Why would the Creator of the universe bother with someone like me, a flawed, weak, unsavory character? Can he really use someone with a past like mine? Is there really some kind of method to the madness that has been my life?

            Fortunately for us, the Bible teaches us that God sincerely loves us and works all things “after the counsel of his will.” In other words, he has a loving plan. In the case of the lineage of Jesus, we see God at work in imperfect people, through events that seem horrible and tragic, to bring about the birth of Christ. We also get a hint of God’s precision and intention when Matthew writes, “So all the generations from Abraham to David were fourteen generations, and from David to the deportation to Babylon fourteen generations, and from the deportation to Babylon to the Christ fourteen generations.”  And I’m convinced the Lord is just as committed, intentional, and precise when it comes to our  lives!

            All of our mistakes, all the pain, our personal failure, even our past can be used by God (is used by God) to accomplish his will in our lives. We don’t condone our sin with an “Oh well, God’s at work anyway.” attitude, but we can rejoice that through it all (even before we were aware of it), God has been at work to bring us to himself. And we know that he is faithful to complete what he has begun in us. With such assurance and hope, we have confidence to come to him and be empowered by his grace so that we can live in a way that is pleasing to him, willfully joining him as he unfolds the kind intentions he had towards us in Christ before the world began. Talk about hope! Talk about freedom! Talk about purpose!

            So if there are any unsavory characters like me reading this, come to Jesus and watch God make something glorious out of your life.

A Choice Between Trees

Posted on by Kyle Fuller

In our brokenness, we have become estranged from Love. All that is left to us now are but shards of a shattered reality which cut and wound us even as we embrace them. Thorns and thistles, the sweat of the brow remind us that “knowing,” apart from Love, yields a harvest of death. “Where are you?”

Apart from Love we cover our nakedness with shame and guilt, seeking desperately to hide behind a fortress of lies. Approaching footsteps ring echoes of terror as our new found insanity warps the very fabric of creation and distorts the image of Love’s intentions. “I heard you coming and was afraid.”

Our proximity reveals our betrayal. Love’s embrace is exchanged for a self imposed exile which foreshadows the hell of separation and fatality of realized appetite. Shuffling feet and the assignment of blame become the posture and vernacular of creatures who have willfully abandoned their place in Love. ‘”What have you done?”

In his brokenness, Love removes our estrangement. He was cut and wounded as he embraced the shards of our shattered reality. A crown of thorns and thistles, the blood of his brow remind us that only in knowing Love can we have true life.